One day at a time

It's a cliche that is used so often, probably because that's truly what you do. It's all you can do. Yesterday I had the blues really bad, the achy feeling that I really think is your heart hurting, all day. My co-worker, Do, is a really kind- hearted Vietnamese guy and as soon as he walked in my office to say good morning.....I told him my aunt had died and I broke down. Probably because he is family oriented, loves to hear my stories....practically feels like he knows my family and friends.
I hadn't had time to bake Bella's cake last night; Justen and I will buy one; she doesn't care about it being homemade....that's my issue.
Bella wanted a gecko for her Birthday, so after work me, Justen, Ken and Bella are going to Pets Mart. We picked out 'Leo', purchased his home and supplies and decided to stop by Uncle's. Ken had spoken to him earlier in the day and he was just OK and wasn't sure if he was coming over.
Ken had told Bella about Aunt Loraine when he picked her up from school. When we arrived at Uncle's she went to him and hugged him; told him she was sorry about Aunt Loraine. His tears came and he asked her to feed the birds. He cut some carrots for the rabbits.....routine feels good....but oh, it's so different without Aunt. Bella asks, where are the snacks? I explain, Aunt always put the snacks out and we can get some snacks when we get home.
Uncle agrees to come over for a burger and a beer. :)
It all feels so different; I'm going through the motions....I don't have to get the vodka out. I'm reminded of her absence over and over...the little things....I now have an extra hamburger....I don't want Uncle to see it. Usually Uncle would be out on the back patio, but he sits inside. After I do some prep for dinner, I sit with him. He tells me about his day. Going to the funeral home, making many, many calls. He said he was concerned about coming over because he didn't want to cry in front of Bella. He even spoke to his pastor about it and his pastor said no...it's good for children to learn about and see grief.
Bella kept saying she missed Aunt Loraine....she said she was so nice.
Uncle had not eaten since the breakfast he had yesterday with Aunt Loraine. He said it never occurred to him to eat.
I was glad he ate his whole hamburger. We lit the candles on Bella's cake, sang Happy Birthday. Then, time to open presents. As she opened the gifts from Aunt and Uncle, I told her that Aunt Loraine selected them for her yesterday. She folded her hands together in prayer formation and looked up to heaven and said, 'Thank you'. It was so sweet.

Bella making a wish

Bella and 'Leo'

Uncle stayed for a while and then said he wanted to go home. I was so glad he came. The best part is, he is talking openly about what he is going through...so healthy.
His daughter, Carol and her husband Brad are arriving tonight from Cleveland. Ken is picking them up now.
I think the funeral is Tuesday night at 6 PM, but that is not for sure.